01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to…
I sense a lot of sarcasm here and if I’m wrong, then GTFO.
THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY MODEST PROPOSAL PAPER. DAMN WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THIS!